[Advaita-l] [advaitin] Is vairAgya/renunciation a result of glumness??

[bhaskar.yr at in.abb.com]

praNAms
Hare Krishna

Thanks a lot for all the replies from the revered prabhuji-s.  I am ever
indebted to these thoughtful insights.  But, my question was with more
specific intention & towards practical implimentation of virtue of vairAgya
in our day to day life.  Yes, theoretically we know the definition of
vairAgya & even we can quote scriptural references for the same & we can
talk/write authoritatively about it .  But when it comes to our *real life
situations* what would be the right attitude rather mental state of ours
being a real vairAgi. That is what exactly I wanted to know.  Let me
explain it by taking one practical example.  One morning, say, I've assured
my wife & kids to take them to a movie in the evening after coming back
from office.   But, while on the way to office,  I heard a sad news that my
closest childhood friend died in a road accident & his body is lying in
mortuary at hospital...Immediately I rushed to the hospital, deeply mourned
the death of my fast friend, have attended his cremation, consoled his wife
& kids & my other friends etc. etc. & will come back to home.  Now, tell
me,  should I carry that sad feeling to my house & by narrating the whole
episode to my wife (who does not even know the name of my departed friend)
&  making her  also to grieve along with me & ruin the whole happy
atmosphere at home??  or should I leave all my sorrows as soon as I comeout
from the crematorium & enjoy the evening movie with my wife & kids with ice
creams & pop corns ??  What would be the attitude/mental state  of a real
vairAgi in these *real life* situations??  Whether he will just *act * (or
pretend) according to the demands of life *situation/circumstance*??  like,
looking sad & weepy guy at the cremation of his friend  & looking joyful,
wonderfully happy  husband when he is with family !!  Or,  should he wear
an apathetic,  granite face with *no* feeling at all in both these
situations?? which is the right & appropriate mental state here for a real
vairAgi ??  whether he should be like ' duHkEshu anudvigna manaH, sukEshu
vigata spruhaH', 'na prahrushyEt priyaM prApya nOdvijEt prApyachApriyaM',
'sukha dhukhE samEkrutvA' etc. etc.  or dhHkEshu *duHkhi*, suKhEshu *suKhi*
without wearing any permanent tag or dis-associating himself with neither
of these vikAra-s!!!  Kindly tell me, which is the *choice* of a real
vairAgi??

Hari Hari Hari Bol!!!
bhaskar