[Advaita-l] tat gotra

[Venkata sriram P]

Dear Rajaramji,
 
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It is not possible to change the gotra of girl except through
kanya dhanam and if a person
 
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The basic purpose of kanyAdAna is lost the moment it is rajasvalAnantara vivAha (post-puberty marriage).  And hard-core traditionalists doesn't approve this marriage and hence
who have undergone rajasvalAnantara vivAha are prohibited from performanc of kratus like
atirAtra / shodasi.
 
Now coming to the point, kanya is defined as the girl of 8 years (ashTa varShA bhavEt kanyA).  Right from the birth for 2 and half years, she is under the custody of varuna devata; next 2 and half years under the custody of gandharva and next 2 and half years under the protection of Agni Devata.  So, totally, it comes to 7.5 years.  So, till 7.5 years, the girl is under the protection of 3 devatas and hence kanyAdAna is performed by the father of the girl so that the 4th person would take the "responsibility of the protection" of that kanyA and the ritual of handing over the girl that "facilitates the transfer from Agni to the vadhu" is called pradhAna hOma which is immediately done after the kanyAdAna.  Here, the bridegroom's family does the gOdAna.  
 
This wonderful scenario is explained in bAla kANDa of Valmiki Ramayana. 
 
The change of gOtra happens during this pradhAna hOma tantra with dasapAtrAsAdana and yugachidrAbhiShEka & lAja hOma.  After this, the newly wed come to bridegroom's house on a bullock cart.  This pradhAna hOma is then followed by pravEsha hOma at the bridegroom's house
 
At the bridegroom's house, pravEsha hOma is performed with the Agni Adhana Prakriya and aupAsana.  The bride grinds the paddy and prepares the rice in a vessel and makes it ready for her husband's vaisvadevam.   Thus, starts the sthAlipAka and grihastha dharma.  They don the diksha vastrAs for 3 days and undergo brahmacharya vrata.  Thus, both the bride & bridegroom pledge themselves to perform the Agnihotra without fail (yAvat jIvaM hOShyAmi).  
 
So, this is the vaidika vivAha vyavastha for brahmins.  The gotra of bride is changed with the performance of pradhAna hOma.  
 
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marries a person of the same gotra - the couple should not engage in
conjugal relationship. 
 
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sa-gOtra vivAha is nishiddha in Apasthamba Grihya Sutra
 
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In one case, they proceeded by telling the mother's gotra of the girl! In the other case, they proceeded by saying that we all belong to acyuta gotra!!   
 
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This is also nishiddha in Apasthamba Grihya Sutra
 
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What do if there is so much attraction that there is no fear of sin or
conviction to only do enjoined action
 
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In Vaidika Vivaha Vyavastha, there is no point of discussing about physical attractions.  Such vivaha is gandharva vivaha and nishiddha for brahmanas. To demonstrate this, "yugavatchidrAbhisheka" is performed ie., artha & kAma are tied with dharma only and utter the pledge "dharme cha; arthe cha; kame cha nAticharAmi".
 
regs,
sriram