[Advaita-l] Duties of Son to departed father

[Venkata sriram P]

Namaste,
 
First of all my condolences and i pray that may his soul rest in peace. 
 
Secondly, the dharma sindhu (abridged version) is online here and you can open the e-book and go through the dasa-dina karmAs, sa-piNDIkaraNa paddhati & shrAddha niyamAs.
 
http://viprayuva.org/joomla/index.php/books/185-essence-of-dharma-sindhu
 
Apart from the above, pls seek the advice of your family priest regarding the shrAddha
prakriya.  
 
As far as your moral responsibility is concerned, since you are the eldest son, take care
of your bereaved mother and other family members. 
 
Pls note that if you have an younger brother and the ancestral property among yourselves 
has not been distributed, then pratyabdika shrAddha should be performed at your home
only and you are the kartA for that. 
 
However, if your younger brother has separated from your family and lives elsewhere and is
unable to turn out for annual shrAddha (owing to certain unavoidable reasons), then 
pratyabdhika shrAddha can be performed independently.  However, if all the members meet at one place at your home and you are the kartA in shrAddha prakriya, then it is a good practice.  
 
Extreme care should be taken while offering pitru tarpaNAs because the underlying principle behind these rituals is love & affection towards our elders.  
 
If this love & affection is not there, whatever be the rituals, it is just a mechanical one. 
 
Last but not the least, it entirely depends upon one's own sAdhana and how much purity levels one has achieved through swadharmAnuSTAna & dhyAna.
 
regs,
sriram