Spiritual Evolution and Samsara

[Neeta Pasrija]

Namaste:

Something must be in the stars.  Lately I have been having the same feelings
that Shri Nageshwar and Shri Prasad have shared with us.  I am very concerned
about getting lost in samsara and maya and getting waylaid on my path to
spiritual evolution.  I don't think attaining Brahman is possible for me in
this lifetime.

I was blessed by Grace a few years ago and turned towards light.  Now I am
extremely worried, because I am at a crossroad of my life.  I have learnt not
to get attached to material things but I still don't think I am at a point
where I can give up the world and go to the Himalayas, so what choice do I have
but to get married and live a worldly life.  Also, how else do I pay my
ancestral debt?    By the way, are the 3 debts applicable to both men and women
or applicable to men only?

My all consuming fear these days is: as soon as I get married and have children
I will get lost in samsara and maya.  Any help on how to avoid that would be
greatly appreciated.

I have been reading the postings on Katha Upnishad verse 1.2.23 and on Volition
and Grace.  These also concern me:  if my spiritual evolution is pre-destined
then I am not responsible for my karma or is my understanding faulty here?  All
I want to do is karma that will take me one step closer to Brahman if not in
this lifetime in another one.

Thank you.