Rushikesh K. Joshi rushi at BRONTO.IITM.ERNET.IN
Sun Feb 9 23:07:16 CST 1997

Namaste Nageshwarji,

>  One encounters Fear as one is stepping into uncharted territory and afraid
> of loosing identity.

There is a nice story about Shri Ramakrishna regarding this.
He once asked Naren (Swami Vivekakanda), "what would you do if you
were a fly sitting on the edge of a bowl that is full of Amrit?"
Naren replied, he would start drinking it !
Sri Ramakrishna smiled and said, "Drink ?!
Jump into it ! Nobody dies in Amrit !"

God is like that. Fear comes due to our attachments. My one dear friend told me
a similar experience where he did not venture to go ahead after a certain point.
What I believe is that a dry leaf falls down on its own. When the work that
has to be done by the jiva is done, all that fear, anxiety et al. that
the ego will drop down. And Japa will not let you create additional attachments.
My Gurudev told a nice analogy for Japa. It's like a tap of clean water
flowing in a bucket full of muddy water. When clean water tap continues and
at one time, the entire bucket becomes full of clean water.

> Ten years ago I explained my experience to my father and asked whether I
> should try taking the second step.  My father was a great Shiva bhakta and he
> understood and appreciated my experience but to my surprise, he strongly
> advised not to venture until such time that I do not have any
> responsibilities.

He gave a very correct advice.
And he meant: "until you donot feel that you are responsible"

> I look at responsibilities and attachments as impediments
> but I can not escape from them for various reasons.

You don't have to be away from your responsibilities. Can't you perform them
with detachment ? Why take the doership to you ? When you have so much
devotion to Devi, why not perform duties as she makes you perform ? Why not say
everything is happening due to her will ? She knows the best and she cannot
be wrong.

> My question is what prevents and stops the transition from step 1 to step 2
> stated above.

The debts that you have to pay.

- Joshi

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